Saturday, April 24, 2010

under my umbrella (ella ella eh eh eh) i had to haha


i often picture myself walking around with an umbrella or even just sitting with it even though it isn't raining. like i am in my own world and you cant see me, you cant hurt me, i am just existing here by myself with my umbrella. when i get like this it's because i am lonely. and when i am lonely... i just want to be alone. odd i know.

my thoughts go the deepest in this place. my heart can even get to a grievous state where i just want to cry. and i sure do cry a lot. it's pretty pathetic.

i dont have anything else to write. this post is pretty lousy. forgive me.

ps. James Morrison is amazing. nuff said.

Friday, April 9, 2010

when there is no one else.

i wake up crying every morning. tears rush down my face as i fall asleep each night. i smile all day so you cant see whats wrong. i forgot who i am. i lost myself in this world. God created me for more and i threw it away. but he has claimed me, he paid a high price and i know i belong to Him.

when you are all alone, and you really realize no one is there for you, you feel like all your friends have left you and you have no one left in this world, if you can get quiet enough you will hear a still small voice. He will whisper he loves, he will stretch out His arms and say this much and i am always here for you. if you want a friend so faithful they would die for you, He did that already. If you just want someone to understand you, to understand the hell you've been through in your life, He's been there too. if you're looking for someone who will truly love you for who you are, someone whose love is unconditional, He does. if you don't know how you got where you are, and you are lost and scared, He is better than any GPS, He knows where you are and how to get you back home. and you are NEVER too far. if you need someone to just wrap their arms around you and say it will be okay, everything will be just fine, you can trust me... He is faithful. He never lies. He always does what he says he will do. if you think your sin is too much for His never ending grace and mercy, it is, but He forgave us still. And if you feel like you aren't worthy of this love, you aren't, but He loves us anyway.

Praise the one who paid my debt and raised this life up from the dead.